Bryan Walls News home

Buddy Can You Spare a Paradigm? existential wandering/wondering

November 27, 1999 ­ Top billing for changes in my life over the last few years has definitely been in the philosophical/theological realm. To recap where I was in my last newsletter, back in 1996 or so, I was searching for Truth, trying to figure out the basis for telling what is real. Then I had the feeling that God may have been asking me to lay even my religion on the altar, and I was confused and fearful. I was involved in talking with many of you about your spiritual and philosophical views, as well as doing some reading in the area. Above: Gather your gurus where ye may -- a few of the people who are my friends and who have shared their wisdom of life, one way or the other. The fact that they are all attractive women does have at least something to do with the fact that attractive women are my favorite photo subject, as much as my favorite source of wisdom. I certainly ought to have a shot of Richard Brown in this story, but I don't have any! Harriet, Anna Sue, Mary Ellen, and Sheila. Credit: Bryan Walls, except the first. I don't remember who took it. Sign up for our EXPRESS bwalls news delivery The search has continued, without lots of Truth to show. for it. I haven't come up with any big answers. I'm still holding on to the same touchstones I mentioned last time; I believe there is a God, and I believe prayers are answered. The major change since then has been the slow seeping of philosophical change into my emotions and actions. The biggy has been the realization that I no longer accept the Bible as being the inerrant, inspired Word of God. The fallout from that realization has been a loss of religion. I'm no longer attending church regularly, except occasionally to help with child care. Church has been such a major part of my life, all through my life, that the loss has resulted in a very definite period of mourning. I miss the bonds of unity, the fraternity, and the comfort of fellowship. I also miss the chance to worship together with those who believe more or less the same. On the other hand, I feel comfort in knowing that I am being true to my beliefs, such as they are, and to what I perceive to be a call from God to follow through in my self-examination. Left: Hardscrable Falls, near Cookeville, Tennessee. Nature is another teacher. So, what now? Is there some other fellowship that I can be a part of? For now, with some trepidation, I'm participating in the Church of the Dance ­ that is, the non-religious fellowship of those who like to dance. The trepidation comes from the tentative nature of the dance community. Dancing is great, but it's sure not God. I'm sure there are lots of religious fellowships of various sorts that would be glad to show me around. But I'm very skeptical of the various claims. For dance, you don't have to believe in any special revelations. You just have to dance. Right: More guru-type people: Sid, in a very appropriate pose at his cabin at Split Tree Farm, Diana, and Teri. Credit: Bryan Walls It is strange writing for as diverse a group as those of you reading this. I know that among those I love, some of you are shocked, some concerned, some bored, some surprised I'm just getting around to where I am, and probably other reactions I haven't even thought of. I do want to thank you all for bearing with me!

More web links More Headlines - NASA research on the web Bryan Walls Home Page

Join our growing list of subscribers - sign up for our express news delivery and you will receive a mail message every time we post a new story!!! More Headlines For more information, please contact: Bryan Walls , Director of Communications Author: Bryan Walls Curator: Bryan Walls bwalls Official: Bryan Walls